Self-respect be damned! You work in a hotel and he performs with Lil’ Wayne. SAY WHAT? Not one to be burned, you slip him a note with his room key asking for one last tumble. You’re at work looking forward to some downlow getdown, when he rolls up with his day-time lover. Say you’re a sexy hotel receptionist who sleeps with an R&B sensation who comes through town every few months on tour. If you’re trying to stop cheating on your lover, one last go around is totally okay. Now consider Trey the Albert Einstein of bodies. Let’s say: Vagina + Boobs ^2 – Peen / Chest Hair = SeXXXy. Consider your torso a complicated math equation.
All you need is a man who can solve a problem better than Maria and the entire Extreme Home Makeover crew combined. If you’re like every other woman, you frequently walk around looking hot only to suddenly stop and sigh with frustration, “Golly, my body is such a problem.” Fear no more, ladies. Your body is a problem but it can be solved by the right man.
After Badda-Bings, you and yours can head home and re-enact what you saw up on that pole Wendy Williams told you it would be fun to install in your bedroom. Consider it “date night.” The couple that stuffs dollar bills down a lady named Bambi’s thong together, stays together. If your man is heading to the strip club, the best possible way to ensure he doesn’t cheat on you with a stripper is obviously to come along. The way to be a good girlfriend is to go to the strip club with your boyfriend.
Perhaps before moving in, Trey Songz should have knocked on his neighbor’s doors and introduced himself by saying, “Hi, my name is Trey and I’ve been required by law to inform you that my love-making is what some would classify as ‘chandelier-shaking loud.’ Thank you for your time.” Do your own neighbors only know your name because they got your mail for you that time you went to a conference in Tucson? That is a mistake. Unless the neighbors know your name, you are doing it wrong.
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